If we could rub a magic lamp and make a genie appear who would grant us one wish, many of us would have the same wish: a few more hours in the day so we can accomplish everything we want. Whether it be extra time to work on a passion project, to practice self-care, make progress towards a goal, or just get to everything you need to, every day feels like it flies by without any real time for ourselves. But what if I told you we don’t need extra hours because the time we desperately crave are hidden within our evenings?
Nutritionist, author, and podcast host Radhi Devulkia shared on a podcast episode that the average person watches roughly three hours of TV per evening, which translates to 45 days of the year (and this doesn’t even include time on our phones). “Imagine if you even spent just half of your evening on things that you wish you’ve been doing, trying to find the time to finish or create something that you’ve always wanted to,” she shared. “That’s over 20 more days you just freed up for yourself.” As someone who is dedicated to becoming her best self, this information was the perspective shift I needed to get a grip on my evening routine. So I created a routine that worked for me, not against me. Read on to learn the five micro habits I made based on Devulkia’s suggestions that helped me reclaim my evenings.
“The first rule of any goal is to have a strategy, so why are our evening routines any different if our intention is to make the most of the time?”
1. Reframe what evenings are for
Evenings are notoriously known for time to veg out for hours in front of the TV (or scrolling endlessly on our phones). “We’ve conditioned ourselves to associate evening with passive consumption rather than meaningful rest,” Devulkia said on her podcast. Although bedrotting every once in a while is normal, I have yet to meet a person who finds doing this everyday rejuvenating and fulfilling. Delvukia recommends viewing our evenings as active rest. This means evaluating the types of rest we need—either physical, mental, or emotional—and engaging in activities that support our recovery. For example, if we’re feeling physically tired, maybe we engage in activities that engage our mind such as reading a few pages of a book while we soak in a warm, bubble bath. Or if we’re feeling mentally exhausted, we can engage in some light movement or simply sit in a quiet place and meditate for a few minutes.
By viewing my evenings as time to do activities aligned with active rest, I’ve found that my hours binge watching TV has dramatically decreased. Instead, that time is dedicated to areas of my life I want to progress in like taking an online writing course, going to the gym, or cooking a nutritious meal.
2. Create a pre-commitment strategy
The first rule of any goal is to have a strategy, so why are our evening routines any different if our intention is to make the most of the time? “Do not make it an option or a decision to make,” Devulkia advised. “You will go back to your automated response if you do not have an alternate plan for you to stick to.” Creating and implementing a plan doesn’t have to be complicated. All it takes is a few minutes in the morning to take a sticky note and jot down the things you want to do in your evening and putting the note in a visible place. I find that doing this helps me curb decision fatigue because I don’t have to make any effort to decide what to do once I get home.
The second part of this evening strategy is commitment. A tip Devulkia shared to increase our follow-through rate is having a plan A, B, and C based on the type of rest and tiredness you may experience (i.e. “If I feel mentally tired, I will go for a walk,””If I feel physically exhausted, I will listen to a podcast while resting,” or “if I feel emotionally drained, I will turn on my DND and work on my new business plan”).
3. Create friction for distractions
Personal development gurus always talk about the importance of removing “triggers” from your environment whenever you are trying to create a new habit (Think: the classic example of hiding the cooking jar from sight when you’re trying to cut back on sugar). Why? Because in Devulkia’s words, when we make our distractions so readily available to us, “we’re just setting ourselves up for failure.”
Instead, let’s set ourselves up for success by creating friction between us and our distractions. This will look different depending on what your goals for the evening distractions are. Are you trying to spend more time perfecting your art instead of scrolling on your phone? Then create friction by putting your phone in another room while you’re drawing or painting. Want to spend more time cooking instead of ordering take-out? Delete delivery apps from your phone. Do you want to dedicate more time to fitness? Join a social wellness club to commit to that requires an extra step to cancel.
4. Bargain with yourself
Based on where I am in my cycle, my willpower to have an ultra-mindful evening will waver. Devulkia doesn’t expect every evening to productive or mindful, which is why she recommends bargaining with yourself when needed (i.e. the times when you’ve done steps two and three, yet the couch and TV are still calling your name). The bargain looks something like this: “If I dedicate at least 20 minutes to a goal, then I’ll allow myself to do whatever you want” (even if that does involve scrolling on social media).
For Delvukia, bargaining with herself sometimes is just the thing she needs to get over the initial hurdle of diving into aligned action. “Usually when I tell myself that, I’ll end up getting into it and spending way longer than I said,” she said. But even if this doesn’t happen, a little bit toward your goals is still better than nothing at all.
5. Choose intentional entertainment
There are days when I want my evenings to be intentional but I still want a bit of entertainment, so how do I bridge the two? “Instead of default scrolling, you can pick one meaningful show or movie or online class to watch,” Devulkia said. This can be in the form of a documentary that interests you, a YouTube video on something you’ve been wanting to learn, or a movie that inspires you. I notice that when I have the urge to just want to sit on the couch and let my brain relax after a busy day, intentionally choosing something that aligns with a goal leaves me with a feeling of satisfaction rather than residual guilt. For the past year and a half, I’ve been learning Spanish and when I have evenings where I don’t necessarily want to go through grammar exercises or chat with my tutor, I turn on a Netflix show in Spanish (current watch: Valeria).
Evenings are truly what you make of them. Sure, there will be evenings that aren’t as mindful as we’d hoped for, but “If your deep intention is to reach a goal or to start something or to finish something, then actually every single moment of intention does matter,” Devulkia emphasized. And evenings are the perfect place to invite intention.
Aaliyah Alexander Contributing Writer
Aaliyah is a writer, content creator, and blogger based in Brandon, Mississippi. She attended San Diego State University where she received a degree in journalism and worked as an editor for the award-winning student newspaper, The Daily Aztec. Aaliyah covers a range of topics including slow living, her favorite vegan food spots, minimalism, self-growth, and entertainment.
The post The 5 Micro-Habits That Helped Me Stop Wasting My Evenings appeared first on The Everygirl.
